Friday, April 17, 2009


It's one of those days that I feel helpless. Ignored. Tired. Upset. Worthless and weak. There was no emptiness in my chest though; not yet at least.
I wondered if I was sick, cause' breathing got harder for me every minute. A few people had asked me why I looked so sad.
"I don't know," I managed to reply them in a croak. I wasn't lying though. I truly was not sure why.
But I wish I did.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I'd never felt this tired before. My eyes were drooping. My head was heavy. My legs were weak as I walked up the stairs.
Heather was sitting on the queen sized bed along with Sam when I opened my bedroom door.
Sam was back.
Both of them looked gorgeous --- as always.
Sam mumbled something to me, but I wasn't sure what she'd said.
I hid under the blankets and closed my eyes. Flashes of my past and regrets began to spin in my head while Heather hummed a tune that I wasn't familiar with.
It was hard for me to sleep and it was a long silence when I tried to feel peace. I got to sleep and felt the peace eventually --- for awhile.
Then, the dream came by.
I saw nothing but a young man about my age. I thought he looked familiar but yet not so sure if i had ever actually seen him before.
I startled as he walked towards me ---fast---; he had the speed almost like lighting. He gave me a grin by showing his flawless teeth. I thought he looked kinda cute, perhaps he looked very cute. Handsome, that's the word. I smiled back as I looked into his big brown eyes. It was then I was sure I knew him but I just couldn't seem to remember.
We said and did nothing but staring into each other's eyes like we knew each other's deepest thoughts. We stayed this way through the whole night.
For a moment, I felt good.
I felt good.

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