I'm Amanda. Will be official 16 years old on 20/5/2009. i'm interest in supernatural stuff. I'm weird, normal,simple, Unique,emo,kissable,huggable,obsessive,crazy,depressed,self-doubter,lack of confidence, ain't no skinny thing but proud of it. You can also find that everything I wrote in my blog are true...well, most of it.
taking guitar lessons!WooHoo!~ And I'm going to start tomorrow =D cant' wait. Rina and I was supposed to go together tomorrow but she had to go to scout camp. Oh well, there's always next time.
Anyway, just like Rina, I'm gonna be prettyvery busy after this post.
Let me see.... - T-shirts to design [don't worry Rina dear, i love doing that] - Biology model to make [i like that one too.] - PJK project to do by HAND. [god.] - My chores. [i have to help my mum. we don't like hiring maids] - Workout for 2 hours, 6 times a week is a must. - Exams that are drifting near to study for. [i vow to get 8 As' this time.] - Practicing guitar since I'm taking it. [ I vow on practicing it everyday for at least 3 hours.] - my b-day [I'd probably be too busy studying to even celebrate anyway.] - Vacation to Aussie. [Yay, but I'm gonna miss uniform camp...darn it.]
So yeah, My blog is going to be on hiatus for a month at least.
I had a bet with my god-bro and football buddy, FLOWER last night on msn.
He dared me that I'd a lose weight and wear a bikini at the end of the year.
So i said yes, sure, whatever. I have a feeling that I'd have the chance.
I just know it.
I can see picture the beach and me with a totally fit, toned bod and wearing a victoria's secret; pink collection bikini already. GAWD, I FREAKIN' LOVE THAT COLLECTION.
Update: I take back saying i wanted to look like those bony, weasel-looking, anorexic girls. I tried becoming a vegetarian but my dad wont let me and i tried starving but then i realised that i couldn't do it and i'd die if i dont have at least a bowl of rice per day, seriously. I still continue working out tho---not bragging---and i dont feel skinny or fat, i just feel so much healthier. =]
There's this guy from school who seems to hate me, a lot. He'd been doing some certain things to make me feel miserable, but he'd failed of course. =D
Example: 1. Spreading rumors about I'm a slutty bitch and that I could never be trusted [Not to be rude but, WHAT THE FUCK?! i mean you don't even know me, creep.]
2. Glaring at me. [Wow, I'm so scared. *shivers*]
3. Give me critism in a disguise but don't even have the courage to look at me. [He often does this especially when I get better results than him or during english class]
4. Calling me names like ji be yan in a disguise[spelling?] way. [AWED, I have a hater who's gay. Cool!]
He did sometimes succeed with getting me annoyed and upset though; it worked for a few minutes.
First, I'm gonna talk about the spreading rumors part. It worked back in a year ago. And guess what? I DONT FUCKIN' CARE ABOUT ANOTHER OPINION OF YOURS, AND YOU'VE PROVED THAT YOU'RE GAY JUST BY DOING THIS.
Second, Glaring is not good for your eyes, darling. But if you want to get it loose and get it drop or losing your sight, suit yourself.
Btw. your insults and critism were like cherry on top. Even though my english is better than yours doesn't mean that I'm a bitch. I'm good at it because i take it seriously, not like some asshole who happens to be you.
And calling me names like ji be/ji bai? Oh, come on! You could've done better than that. insult me as a type of sexual organ doesn't affect me; not even a little. it just showed how uncreactive you are. ;)
MY ADVICE: Grow up! Even though i have the same friends as you doesn't mean I'm trying to replace you or get near to you, bastard. And yes, I've suffered a lot just by being in the same class with you for the pass 2 years. But guess what? We're still going to see each other for another 2 years.
Get a life. Let it go. Why won't you get that?
I've been trying to ignore you and got pretty good at it lately. But i'm starting to think it's just not worth it for some immature jerk like you.
I pity you. Really, I do. I can't believe I actually pity some asshole but hey, life's full of surprises right?
Just Get over it. Get over the past. Get over me.
Or just see a therapist or counselor or something.
What I just wrote may seem like an insult or a joke for you. But it's not. It's just pure justice and opinion, from moi.
It's one of those days that I feel helpless. Ignored. Tired. Upset. Worthless and weak. There was no emptiness in my chest though; not yet at least. I wondered if I was sick, cause' breathing got harder for me every minute. A few people had asked me why I looked so sad. "I don't know," I managed to reply them in a croak. I wasn't lying though. I truly was not sure why. But I wish I did.
I'd never felt this tired before. My eyes were drooping. My head was heavy. My legs were weak as I walked up the stairs. Heather was sitting on the queen sized bed along with Sam when I opened my bedroom door. Sam was back. Both of them looked gorgeous --- as always. Sam mumbled something to me, but I wasn't sure what she'd said. I hid under the blankets and closed my eyes. Flashes of my past and regrets began to spin in my head while Heather hummed a tune that I wasn't familiar with. It was hard for me to sleep and it was a long silence when I tried to feel peace. I got to sleep and felt the peace eventually --- for awhile. Then, the dream came by. I saw nothing but a young man about my age. I thought he looked familiar but yet not so sure if i had ever actually seen him before. I startled as he walked towards me ---fast---; he had the speed almost like lighting. He gave me a grin by showing his flawless teeth. I thought he looked kinda cute, perhaps he looked very cute. Handsome, that's the word. I smiled back as I looked into his big brown eyes. It was then I was sure I knew him but I just couldn't seem to remember. We said and did nothing but staring into each other's eyes like we knew each other's deepest thoughts. We stayed this way through the whole night. For a moment, I felt good. I felt good.
Today's tuesday and i bumped into two friends of mine who had just came back from aussie.[Connie & Karina]
We were like "OMG"
*hug*
LOL.
Anyway, they both looked prettier than ever. I didn't get to take photos of them tho.
boo hoo.
oh well, what comes around goes around, right? haw haw. Anyway, the song jai ho by the pussycat dolls had stucked in my head for two days now! I love that song but it's kinda annoying. You know, have the same song stuck in your head for over 24 hours; maybe even 24/7.
btw, miss heatherfield, it's not pronounce as ZAI HO babehh.
I'll update soon about the aussie-asian-friends thing the next time.
with photos.
promise.
I'm just pretty busy lazy to blog today. I might as well study, do my facial and of course, my workouts[my fave moment of the day].
Lyrics: (Jai Ho) (Jai Ho) I got (I got) shivers (shivers), When you touch away, I’ll make you hot, Get all you got, I’ll make you wanna say (Jai Ho)
(Jai Ho)
I got (I got) fever (fever), Running like a fire, For you I will go all the way, I wanna take you higher (Jai Ho) I keep it steady uh-steady, That’s how I feel it. This beat is heavy, so heavy, You gonna feel it.
(Jai Ho)You are the reason that I breathe, (Jai Ho) You are the reason that I still believe, (Jai Ho) You are my destiny, Jai Ho! Uh-uh-uh-oh! (Jai Ho) No there is nothing that can stop us (Jai Ho) Nothing can ever come between us, (Jai Ho) So come and dance with me, Jai Ho! (oh)
Catch me, catch me, catch me, c’mon, catch me, I want you now, I know you can save me, come and save me, I need you now.
I am yours forever, yes, forever, I will follow, Anywhere in anyway, Never gonna let go.
Jai Ho
(Jai Ho) Escape (escape) away (away), I’ll take you to a place, This fantasy of you and me, I’ll never lose my chance. (Jai Ho) Lyrics are provided by Geniusbeauty.com
Yeah
I can (I can) feel you (feel you), Rushing through my veins, There’s an notion in my heart, I will never be the same.
(Jai Ho) Just keep it burnin’, yeah baby, Just keep it comin’, (Jai Ho) You’re gonna find out baby, I’m one in a million.
You are the reason that I breathe, (Jai Ho) You are the reason that I still believe, (Jai Ho) You are my destiny, Jai Oh! Uh-uh-uh-oh!
(Jai Ho) No there is nothing that can stop us (Jai Ho) Nothing can ever come between us (Jai Ho) So come and dance with me, Jai Ho! (Hear me it’s destiny)
Catch me, catch me, catch me, c’mon, catch me, I want you now, I know you can save me, come and save me, I need you now.
I am yours forever, yes, forever, I will follow, Anywhere in anyway, Never gonna let go.
Jai Ho, Jai Ho, Jai Ho
I need you, Gonna make it, (Jai Ho) I’m ready, So take it!
(Jai Ho) You are the reason that I breathe, (Jai Ho) You are the reason that I still believe, (Jai Ho) You are my destiny, Jai Oh! Uh-uh-uh-oh!
(Jai Ho)No there is nothing that can stop us, (Jai Ho) Nothing can ever come between us, (Jai Ho) So come and dance with me, Jai Ho! (oh)
I've been eating normally. &---I'm not trying to brag---Working out for at least 2 hours six days a week for over 30 days now. But i didn't lose any weight or fat and did gain a kilo though.
It's funny cause, that 1 kilo had made me so depressed than ever.
I mean, i did intensive workout ,i eat healthy and i'd avoid sugar and junk food products.
I was having thoughts about this and my regrets like any other nights before i went to bed last night. Then i came to realised that it's either I'd become a vegetarian or I'd starve. So that i could lose weight and finally be happy and accept myself.
I'd do my daily workouts too, so i don't think starving is going to effect my health that much.
I've been dreaming to become like these girls since kindergarden.so, It'd be cool if i'd become that skinny.
It's 4.30 am. I just woke up from a nightmare and i just can't bring myself back to sleep.
anyway,I was tagged by rina! =] again! =D
1. THE SCHOOL CHICK : I'd say Karina if she's still in our school. o well. 2. THE GYM GUY : I don't want to tell you. 3. THE FRESHIE : Suki? well, not really. 4. THE RANDOM CHINESE FREIND : Desmond 5. THE LOOSE CHICK : hmm...LOL! 6. THE NIGGA THAT GETS GWAPS : No name 7. THE JOCK : Nick? 8. THE GOON : Hoe Sing, lmao. 9. THE TERRORIST : Hoe Sing! and another guy's name i forgot. 10. THE NERD GIRL : I can't remember her name! =/ 11. THE BLACK SUPREMO : BLACK? wth. Rina and moi! =D 12. THE CHEERLEADER : I wanted to be one. =3 but hey whatever. Brenda 13. THE TRIBALIST : hmmm.....Stephen? nah. Mr. Sparkle! 14. THE GIRL WHO EATS AND IT GOES STRAIGHT TO HER BACKOFFFFF! : BIANCA, PARTLY SHE HAS STRONG INDIAN GENES.[ans copyrighted from rina.] 15. THE FUNKY SKANKER : alex 16. THE SHORT GUY : I'm not answering! =P 17. THE HIPPIE : Joseph & Cheryl =D 18. THE NIGGA WHO IS ALWAYS IN COURT : Dont know any. 19. THE WEED HEAD : wth is a weed head?! 20. THE NORMAL DUDE : James Ling 21. THE NORMAL CHICK : Guey Hua [But she's a fun girl in disguise,i'd say.]
Tag: 1. anyone who also woke up from a horribly idiotic weird nightmare. 2. Anyone who cant sleep. 3. Anyone who got nothing else better to do 4. You.
I'm feeling pretty much devastated these few weeks. Especially today.
Reason num 1: I'm upset and i found out that nobody even care about that fact. Reason num 2: My friend wasn't even listening when i opened up to her today. She was flirting with every guy she sees and avoided eye contacts with me the whole time. Reason num 3: I heard some guy calling me an ugly fat ass behind my back, literally. Reason num 4: I got a 0 out of 10 in my biology monthly test which i know i've been studying for about 4 days. Reason num 5: I overheard some of my friends' mums whispered "Amanda's a pretty weird kid." Reason num 6: My sister hates me. Reason num 7: My biology teacher hates me, too. Reason num 8: I feel so empty that i actually had the urge to commit suicide. Reason num 9: I'm a total disappointment to my parents. Reason num 10: I want to cry so badly but i just can't.
You probably think I'm some crazy nutcase after you finished reading. Don't worry[not that you would even care anyway], I'm not gonna kill myself or anything.
I received a gift from an, i mean two Indian tutors/teachers, Mr & Mr. Loka from Pinang! Well, she[mrs loka] used to tutor me in Sibu and the last time we spoke to each other was....2004! She had retired and moved back to pinang with her husband. I was sobbing when we said our goodbyes. [I couldn't control my emotions at that time, you see.]
But i didnt get to see her though.
When i first heard she was giving me a present, i thought it'd probably be some educational stuff, pencils, books, pens, yeah you get the picture.
But i was wrong.
It's no chanel or chirstian dior, but i was just thrilled that a teacher actually gave me a F. Timber bag! =]
I even found a purse with a 10 bucks in my bag. I was like huh? ... haw haw
