Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Confused

Human beings are creatures with distinct emotions. Emotions such as that makes you go GaGa, makes you embrace your life warmly or feeling devasted. And today this week has been one of those days that my heart feels pretty empty, like something important has been missing. And i have no idea what it is. I feel like crying more than ever, but the funny thing is, i can't. I could feel that something is getting heavier---which is not my weight, FYI---every single minute, like something or someone has been pushing me down or pulling me under. [jeez, i'm sinking]. I've tried everything to make myself feel better: Eating Dark Chocolate[my personal fave] but then i didn't cause i didnt have the appetite, Exercise, practising my piano, watching desperate housewives[I heart Bree, she's awesome], Trying to talk to someone else to fill the emptiness, talking to heather when other people doesn't even bother to care. But all of it didn't worked at all, and I'm feeling even worse, knowing that i'll get another weird, crazy, stupid nightmare tonight. and it's already 9.24 pm!; my curfew's at 9pm. Let's just say that I'm feeling really annoyed, depressed and confused for no good reason. And it's a really stupid and ungrateful thing to do cause I'm healthy, I live in a happy family without any family issues[sort of] or parents who are getting divorce, I'm not rich but I'm not poor either, and I'm not skinny but I'm not obese either, etc.

Maybe i just need a day out with my friends or something. or i need a beer?[i won't do that though, even if i really want to but i also know that it would break my mother's heart.]

Anyway, i keep telling myself to think of the bright side, at least i won't get another weird nightmare tonight. [I doubt it.]

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